VFCOnline - The Duty Hut: Kids Soldier Area

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Ever wonder what happens to the children of military single-parents or military couples with children when the military member deploys? Ever talked with kids that was dealing with grief and anxiety even after the soldier becomes a veteran?

The military services have always had regulations which required single-parents and military-married-to-military couples with children to have plans concerning the care of their dependents in the event they were ever deployed. This wasn’t followed closely.

We created these pages to help with our children young and old.

Helpful thoughts -

Find local events for military children in your community.
Connect with other families that understand your needs (this may include extend families).
Stay connected with a church also stay active. This will help your children adjust with the separation.

What does the bile say about Children:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” - Psalm 127:3-5

“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” - Matthew 18:10

“A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” - Psalm 127:1-5

“Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” - Hebrews 12:9-11

Coming Soon!!

Researchers have discovered that a significant number of children who have a parent deployed in the War on Terror are at high risk for psychosocial problems.

The study, found in the August issue of the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics , suggests about one third of children with a parent deployed are at risk.

High stress in the at-home parent is the main factor affecting children’s risk of psychological problems, according to lead author, Dr. Eric M. Flake of the Madigan Army Medical Center, Tacoma, Wash.

“Military, family and community supports help mitigate family stress during periods of deployment,” the researchers write.

Ideas when leading your child when spouse is deploying:

Young Children: When dealing with preschoolers, many military parents opt for a simple approach such as, "I have to go away for awhile and do my job." Common inquiries from small children include the basics: when, where, and how long. A sense of security is important to these little ones. Don't be surprised if your son or daughter exhibits uncharacteristic clingy behavior.

Older Children: These kids may have a basic understanding of what deployment means, but don't fully comprehend how it'll impact their world. There's a lot of unpredictability in children aged 6 to 12. Some will barrage you with inquiries during your first discussion. Others may have one or two questions, process the information and approach you days later.

Some military parents approach the topic by utilizing another servicemember's deployment as a frame of reference. "Remember last year when Caitlyn's dad had to go away for his work?"

Regardless of their reactions, expect a lot of questions from these inquisitive minds.

Teens: Compared to the other age categories, teenagers have a much better understanding of deployments. Besides questions about your well-being, they often want to know how their role within the family will change during your absence. Your teenager may react to the news by expressing a wide variety of emotions.

Anger and feelings of abandonment are common, especially if you'll miss a major milestone in their life such as a high school graduation. Others might respond by assuming an adult-like role, reassuring you not to worry about the homefront because they'll "take care of everything."

Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

Seeking reassurance, children often put their parent on the spot by asking tough, direct questions. A natural parental reaction is to promise them the moon, stars and everything in between. However, doing so can backfire and have serious repercussions.